Snowmobiling

We actually only stayed about four or five days.  It was travel one day over and one day back.  Today is the last day before we head back home.  We were having fun playing in the snow, I don't think I've seen as much snow since that time.  This last time we went to Idaho, it was in July so there was no snow and the rivers were not as high, plus we didn't have to go as far up north as before.

Aunt and Uncle has some land across the street that was a little flatter with less trees and this is where we rode snowmobiles for the first time.  Snowmobiles only have the gas and brake, no gear changing.  Kind of like go-carts which we had already had experience with since daddy use to build and race them a few years before.

It's my turn to ride so I get in front, but daddy is going to sit in the back and ride with me.  The gas was on the right handbar and for some reason just as daddy was getting ready to sit down behind me, I hit the gas, which scared the *&!@ out of me because it almost lifted in the front and took off, so I let go of the handlebar and stop.  But when I turn around daddy is standing with his knees bent, crouched like he was sitting on a horse with this stunned smile.  We just all started laughing and I rode back and started riding the snowmobile on my own.  It was fun and funny.

Doctor Meeting

A week before mother's day 2010, me, Badoll, and Chris meet with momma's doctor.  He was the one who prescribed the feeding tube and also kept insisting that we seriously think about putting her in convalescence.  Since that wasn't an option we needed to take control of the situation.  After meeting him we found out that she was taking some medication for nerve damage on her neck and back.  It wouldn't have been a bad thing but her body was not reacting good to the medication and was curbing her appetite and changing her disposition.  We decided to clear out everything with the doctor's approval, except for medications that were necessary for her heart, stomache, and pain.  Boy...was she mad at us.  Momma like everyone else, does not like having control of her decisions, and we went behind her back.  Mother's day was a bear but a week later she was eating and getting back to the momma we knew, and just in time for our Graduation two weeks later.

It was a hard decision at the time and tough for us to stand our ground, but in the long run it has helped alot since soon after, daddy passed, and if we didn't do it before she might not be here with us today driving around in her little blue bug. 

Plus, during these past few months, daddy would remind us and get reassurance about still going to Idaho.  "Don't forget we're going to Idaho in July."  Now that momma was better again, the trip was definitely going to happen now and there was nothing we could do to stop daddy from planning it now.

To the Rescue!

When Aunt and Uncle figured out we weren't behind them, they backtracked and found us stranded on the side of the road.  Because they were already familiar with the area and weather conditions Uncle knew right away what to do.  Uncle jumped on the back of the bumper and started bouncing it while daddy drove the truck forward because by this time the truck was also stuck in the ice and needed some traction to get going forward again.  But, the ferry had stopped crossing and we needed to find a place to sleep.

Few funny happenings during this time;  while they were taking care of the truck, grandpa got off the truck and decided he could walk across with daddy and Uncle, but he started sliding around, and grandma is in the car yelling out, "viejo!!" it was just one of the funniest scenes, because then, at the same time, we are all in the station wagon and we could hear this rattling and we are all looking around because we couldn't figure out where it was coming from, finally grandma, said, "it's me, my knees" she has something between her knees and it was so cold her legs were shaking and making the rattling noise against this.  We just all starting busting up, it kind of broke the ice.

End of day - we found a cabin with a couple of rooms, some blankets, but we only ate some sliced bread and something else, I don't remember.  During this time, all the stores closed early and we weren't able to buy anything to eat, but the good news is, that in Canada it you stay 24 hours you can buy liquor and cross the border with it ...WooHoo!! Daddy stocked-up and bought some for gifts, I think he bought most because they came in these really decorative bottles.  Then we ate and cross the ferry back to Bonners Ferry for another day.

Exhaustion!

We were exhausted.  By this time I was at the house two, three times a day, along with Badoll on the way home from work and sometimes before, and Christina in the morning and sometimes evenings.  There were appointments, feeding tube changes, breakfasts, lunch, dinners, and our own errands with our own families.  We needed help desperately. 

It happen that at this time, Maria was attending college in Fresno and staying at our house during the week to save on gas and money and going home on weekends.  We talked to daddy and asked if it would be alright if Maria could stay with them and help us out during the evenings and weekends because we didn't want her to compromise any time with her schooling but needed help after, and she was willing to help us out too.  Momma was reluctant at first but warmed up to the idea soon after.  Maria would run to the market for them and cook dinners.  Phew, our lifesaver.  But, showers that was a whole different story, the only person momma would allow to help her out with showers, was me.  Daddy would call me to give her a shower because by this time she couldn't even stand for longer than a couple of minutes, and a shower would make her feel better and sleep better. 

Then there was the falling, momma would wake up during the night, disoriented and fall and daddy with his arm, had a hard time picking her up.  Maria would help a lot, but on nights she was gone, daddy would call asking for help and either me or David would go to the house around 1 or 2 in morning to help daddy pick her up (we live only two miles away from their house).  This was hard, not because of the picking-up, that wasn't even a problem, it was that we didn't understand why this was happening to her.  We needed to talk again to the doctors, and asked daddy if he minded we talked to him together, by this time he knew something had to be done because she still wasn't eating and started to become very combative.

Nelson, BC

Today were suppose to drive up to Nelson, British Columbia and take the ferry to Victoria Islands.  We drive up and the ferry was the coolest thing for us.  We had never been on a boat where you actually drive your car onto and park.  We needed to cross the Columbia River.  Daddy drove the car to a storage area underneath the deck of the boat and parked.  We walk-up to the top and then there is this coffeshop with snacks and hot chocolate.  Even though it was freezing we wanted to be on deck to see everything.  It took the ferry about 20 minutes to cross.  The widest river I have seen so far.  It was huge, deep and the water was icy and choppy, but the coolest.  Once the boat docked, we walked underneath again and drive the car off, Alex and Junie had come in their station wagon.  We drove onto Nelson and saw the Victoria Islands.  It was beautiful, this side of Canada has more of the Great Britain influences, so we saw more buildings looking like the parliment in London, at least what I've seen in pictures. 

We spent most of the day there and around 4pm we started heading back to the ferry again.  We were in the truck with daddy and Aunt and Uncle following, but we must of lost each other, because next thing you know daddy missed the turn and pretty soon we were lost.  By now the roads have a layer of ice over them and the truck starting sliding and we started to cry, momma telling us to keep quiet because daddy needed to watch his driving so we sat there with our teeth clenched and jerking everytime the truck started to slide.  It wasn't getting any better and there seemed to be more and more cars stranded on the side of the road, so daddy pulled over and waited.  Now..this is in 1971 - No Cell Phones !! Daddy, the social one, started talking to everyone else, there must have been five to eight cars parked there, and there was this large cliff in the middle of the road dividing the two opposite lanes.  You could actually see rocks sliding down this crevice.  Even to walk you would slide around and we were scared we would slide into the cliff.  Get it...Cliffhanger!!!

Gaining speed

By now momma is home and daddy is still driving around to run errands.  Momma can't get out and isn't doing too good and he doesn't want anyone to know how bad things are going right now.  We've been thrown for a loop, momma isn't eating.  She is not eating anything.  We're desperate trying to make her favorites, and daddy's driving to Panne' too pick up the broccoli and cheese soup she likes.  She will take a spoon and start throwing up.  Something is not right.  Eventually we have to take her to the hospital and her potassium is at a dangerously low level so she's admitted and put on a feeding tube and an IV of potassium to try and replenish the minerals her body needs.  Seven days.  And the only reason she is discharged is because medicare won't cover more than a seven day stay.  Her weight is down to 92 pounds and going down more.  Daddy is exhausted, he can barely use his arm and he can't figure what's going on or how to get her to eat anything.  They end up putting a feeding tube in her chest, and me, Chris and Badoll are trained on how to clean, connect and disconnect her liquid food.  The only thing that sustains her now.  We are told that if we can't get her to eat and gain weight she won't make it.  Doctors keep telling daddy she needs to be admitted into the convalescent.  NOPE, daddy fought with everything, momma was not going to go to a convalescent, we would take care of her.

Idaho 1971

We finally get settled in, we slept upstairs with the girls and momma and daddy slept in the basement.  It was scarrrryyy... there was a window even with the ground level and you could see the snow outside.  There was a big bed and it was surrounded by every kind of wild hunting game animal you could think of; deer, elk, moose, bear, and more.  We fell asleep all pretty fast, after the long ride and the excitement we were tired.  Momma and daddy had trouble because during the night a bear was scratching at the window during the night and they could hear the low growling.  Totally different kind of wild life then we were use to in Tulare, ha ! ha ! 

But early in the morning we had this huge breakfast Aunt Alex has made us and we sat all together in the dining room all warm with the fireplace and hungry as bears.  Then it was dressing and getting ready for the day.  We went into town which was about fifteen miles away.  Can you imagine, driving that far to go to the market! Then Uncle took us out hunting and he shot a grouse right in the middle, feathers and guts all flew out.  Later Aunt Alex cooked it, it wasn't much meat but we weren't up to trying it anyway.  Kind of like when daddy killed the chickens and cooked them at Grandma's in Porterville, not too appetizing after seeing the kill.  The plan for the next day was for Badoll and us (I don't remember if it was all four us or not), but we were going to take the bus with our cousins to their school for the day. Like we really wanted to go to school, ha! were on vacation....

Time's a goin'

By November we had been through the 911 call, the diagnosis, the kidney surgery, and Thanksgiving, you would think it couldn't get worse.  Not!  Now we find out momma's neck had deteriorated extensively and was hanging down, literally.  Surgery was scheduled for January 15, 2010.  However, by this time we hadn't seen the other signals momma was going through physically. 

Surgery was at Fresno Community and it was longer than usual but she made it through.  But according to doctors this was it, any more would be too risky.  They had to put some synthetic bones and pins on her neck which allowed her more mobility and strength in her neck.  This was just the beginning of the medical trauma her body would go through.  Even though we were breathing a huge sigh of relief, we weren't aware things would get worse for both of them. 

Daddy was still planing Idaho,  always the optimist.

Happy Father's Day

Esther "Badoll (Baby Doll)"

Gabriel "Gabe"

Christina "Chris"

Me Barbara "Barb"

                                                                                         

Idaho 1971

I was eleven years old and we were all going to Idaho.  Momma, Daddy, us, and Grandma and Granpa Garcia.  Daddy had a white ford pickup with a huge, I mean huge camper shell.  It hung over the top and the back end.  Kind of scary when you think of it now, but their wasn't so many road restrictions regarding weight, seatbelts, or even carrying people in the back.  Well the day comes and according to Aunt Alex we should'nt hit any snow, it was the first week of October and they didn't expect snow for a couple of weeks.  So we leave, Daddy driving, momma in the center and Grandma passenger.  Granpa got in the back with the rest of us and of course me and badoll get carsick, so a couple of hours out were throwing up, grandpa just shaking his head.  But daddy pulls over, we throw-up, then keep going.  We would eventually fall asleep and stop the throwing up.  We finally get to Walla Walla, Washington but we were lost, suppose to have gone to Walla, Washington.  Who names their towns this?  Anyway, the snow that wasn't suppose to happen, "it was snowing."  We stayed the night in Washington, we get to the hotel and it was for daddy and momma ONLY.  The rest of us ran in, while he waved us in one at a time from the top stairs.  We'd better run up fast too, or we'd get the look.  Except grandma, grandpa - I don't remember if they got their own room or snuck in too, but we were tired and knocked out quick.  Early next morning we leave again,  I think me and badoll were still yellow or greeen from all the car sickness but we were still excited.  It was now snowing nonstop.  Ten hours later we finally make it to Bonners Ferry, Idaho.  Man ....it took us almost 20+ hours to get there.  They lived 20 miles from the Canadian/British Columbia Victoria Islands.  When we drove up to their house, it was a two story white wood house, with a full-size basement and the backdoor faced the highway.  They owned land around the house and across the highway.  You couldn't even see the closest house around them.  No near next door neighbor.  They have to take the bus to school.  We coudn't even conceptulize this.  Who takes the bus? Don't we all walk to school? and then the cousins run outside BAREFOOT in the snow.  We come from Tulare where the summers are 115+ and the winters maybe 35 and we're sitting here in 20 below temps freezing.  Crazy.

Planning Idaho

Soon after his diagnosis, daddy brought up the trip to Idaho again.  He had been talking about taking us for a couple of years now.  Momma and daddy had just gone a few years back and they both spoke of how you could lean over their balcony and throw your pole into the Little Salmon River in their backyard.  "That's how close it was" daddy always said.  He knew Gadiel and David love to fish and would both enjoy it.  Plus he wanted to show the kids the country.  We got to go in 1971 when they lived in Bonners Ferry and now he wanted to take the grandkids.  There was always some work scheduling conflicts the past two years but now he was determined to go and it was going to be in July 2010.  Sounded silly at the time since they had only given him 6-8 months to live.  But daddy said he was going to beat the cancer and would be able to go to Idaho.  So we all agreed we would go and the date to leave was July 2, 2010.  It was only August 2009.  He would call Aunt Alex and arrange it with her.  It was a goal for him and us.  At the time we decided, we still hadn't noticed how momma health was deteriorating, but I don't even think she did either because at the time she was okay with going.  She even seemed excited about it and would tell us about the water and how close it was, but also warned how dangerous it was too.

Father's Day

It's a difficult week for us this year, as I'm sure it will be from now on, but this will be the first year without daddy.  Last year we took him to Hume Lake,momma, me, kids, Badoll & Chris and the kids.  We wanted it to be somewhere nice instead of the basic backyard bbq.  Instead, we took the BBQ to the lake with all the fixings.  Badoll took a hammock which was perfect because as soon as we got there it was set-up, daddy wrapped himself in the blanket, covered his head with a straw haw and went to sleep.  By this time he was having chemo every week and his body along with all the side effects, had lost all resistance to the cold.  Plus last year was colder than it usually is in June.  Although he slept most of the time it was a good day filled with fun for the kids (they got into the lake) and lots of good food to enjoy.  Daddy actually got up and ate and went back to sleep, every once in awhile he would wave his hat around to let us know he was okay.  He was happy and comfortable there and we were all relaxed. 

This year it will definitely be different without him but as the old saying goes, "life goes on" even though it's changed it still goes on.  We all miss you daddy and loved you and still wish things were different but as you told us that last day, "don't worry, your okay."